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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24550102">Before Dawn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackie_Gaytona/pseuds/Jackie_Gaytona'>Jackie_Gaytona</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>What We Do in the Shadows (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Kinda, M/M, Multi, Smut, Threesome, blowjob, lazlos unfortunate dick</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:48:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,161</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24550102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackie_Gaytona/pseuds/Jackie_Gaytona</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Guillermo was going to faint. He just knew it. He was going to faint, with an erection, in a crypt with two unbelievably horny vampires. He would probably hit his head on the way down and warrant an ambulance visit, too, so that they too could relish in the madness of this current situation. A story for the ages. Some weird Persian guy dressed like a vampire; a pompous middle-aged Steampunk cosplayer, and a nerd with his head cracked open.</p><p>Post-season 2, episode 9. Guillermo somehow finds himself stuck in a room with two very horny vampires</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Guillermo/Nandor the Relentless (What We Do in the Shadows TV), Laszlo Cravensworth/Guillermo/Nandor the Relentless, Laszlo Cravensworth/Nandor the Relentless</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>294</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Before Dawn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Firstly, I couldn’t quite recognise what room Nandor and Laszlo had gone in at the end of the last episode, but it looked a little like Nandor’s room, so that’s where I’m setting this fic.</p><p>I am very unused to writing smut, but I had to after the last ep because omG.</p><p>Comments and Kudos greatly appreciated!! I hope you enjoy this little self-indulgent fic!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Guillermo had been waiting in the foyer for Nandor for ages now. It was already well past the vampire’s bedtime when they’d arrived home from the witches’ coven. In fact, the sun would be up in another two hours. And Guillermo was tired. He wanted nothing more than to flop on his bed and pass out and temporarily forget about what he’d witnessed tonight. He’d felt an overwhelming array of emotions upon finding Nandor and Laszlo strapped to those slabs: confusion, embarrassment, jealousy, even a small pang of <em>desire</em>. And shame; because the first thing his eyes had fallen on was the impressive erection tenting Nandor’s trousers. Despite the fact that it was obvious his master was in grave danger.</p><p>Thinking back to those promiscuous crones had Guillermo’s blood boiling, and not just with jealousy. They had been fully prepared to kill his vampire friends, and Guillermo couldn’t let that slide. But he was a vampire killer, not a <em>witch</em> killer. He didn’t know what weapons or incantations or religious icons were lethal to witches. Besides, he was severely outnumbered. Not for the first time that night, he thanked God that he’d been binging Shark Tank and had come up with his ingenious idea. Hopefully that would keep them away for at least a little while.</p><p>            Guillermo was tired of waiting, and he didn’t like where his thoughts were headed. He rose to his feet and stood a moment, trying to decide on which hallway to scour first. Only then did he hear a small thump and a voice coming from the direction of Nandor’s bedroom. He rolled his eyes; his master was already in there, probably waiting impatiently for his familiar to attend him. He’d not thought to check because Nandor almost always fetched him before he got ready for bed.</p><p>            He made his way to the door and knocked softly before turning the knob. An apology had already formed on the tip of his tongue. “I’m sorry, Master, I didn’t know you were-”</p><p>            He stopped dead at the scene before him. Every part of his body was frozen in shock; his heart seemed to go still before resuming at a frantic pace, and his lungs refused to let out the air inside of them. Heat shot to his face but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the two vampires before him.</p><p>            Nandor’s back was arched against his coffin, his head tilted back, eyes closed and mouth partly open in a look of pure ecstasy. He was still mostly clothed, and his cape was blessedly covering the one part of him that wasn’t. But Guillermo could still make out Laszlo’s unmistakable head of hair gliding forward and back at level with the other vampire’s crotch. Hair that was being bunched up and gently pulled by one of Nandor’s big hands.</p><p>            The picture only lasted a split-second, though, because a moment later Nandor kneed Laszlo in the jaw and the other vampire went tumbling back with a yell.</p><p>            “Fuck, Guillermo!” Nandor hissed, wrapping his cape around him.</p><p>            Laszlo, now sprawled on the carpet, shouted, “What the fuck was that for?”</p><p>            “It was Guillermo’s fault!” Nandor said loudly. He was quickly lacing up his pants. “Guillermo, what are you doing standing there? Go!” He finished lacing and flicked a hand dramatically towards the door.</p><p>            Guillermo found his voice all of a sudden, and his breath. He was beyond mortified by the fact he still couldn’t tear his eyes away. “I-I’m so sorry Master, I’ll go--” But before he could finish, Laszlo raised a hand and gestured for him to stay.</p><p>            “Hold on one minute,” he said, getting to his feet. He shrugged his coat back into position, as usual looking the very picture of a gentleman – if it weren’t for the raging boner still jutting comically beneath his trousers. “Shut the door, Gizmo.”</p><p>            “That’s w-what I was doing,” Guillermo choked as he took a quick step out of the room, his hand already on the doorknob.</p><p>            “No, lad! Bring your arse inside first, <em>then</em> shut the door.”</p><p>            <em>Oh God,</em> Guillermo prayed, <em>please don’t let him kill me. Please don’t let him kill me.</em> Surely Nandor wouldn’t allow it. Surely he’d stand up for his familiar. He stole a sheepish glance at his master’s face; it was currently set in a displeased grimace, his eyes burning. He looked very much like he could kill a certain meddlesome familiar right now.</p><p>            Guillermo shut the door and stepped forward. Sweat prickled at his brow but his hands weren’t working so he couldn’t wipe it away.</p><p>            Laszlo, being Laszlo, got straight to business. “You ever given a blowjob to a vampire, old chap?”</p><p>            “Laszlo, <em>no,</em>” Nandor admonished. “Leave Guillermo alone.”</p><p>            Laszlo pulled his mouth into a smirk. He’d hitched his thumbs in his belt and was sauntering towards Guillermo. He looked about ready to devour the familiar alive. “No, I don’t think I will,” he said finally, and raised an eyebrow. “And <em>I</em> think Gizmo here might actually be interested.”</p><p>            Guillermo, so caught up in the situation before his eyes, had dismissed his own erection as his imagination. Nandor refuted that for him.</p><p>            “Oh, <em>Guillermo</em>,” he said disapprovingly, and Laszlo let out a great, merry laugh.</p><p>            “Come, boy, it’s about time you showed your master some proper <em>regard</em>.” He idly walked back to Nandor, beckoning to Guillermo with two fingers. Guillermo’s brain suddenly caught up, and his vision went hazy. He felt like he was going to black out in embarrassment. But then his eyes slid unbidden to Nandor’s, and he saw something dark and salacious in them, something that contradicted the uncertain look on his face.</p><p>            Memories of the night – of the witches caressing the vampires’ bodies, of the sensual intimacy he’d witnessed, and yet another attempt on Nandor’s life – came flooding back in, and they seemed to spur him on, because before Guillermo could even think of stopping himself, he closed the distance between them.</p><p>            He looked up at his master’s face, swallowing hard. They were very close now, and the room felt too warm. Guillermo could almost feel Laszlo’s shit-eating grin on the back of his head.</p><p>            “You don’t have to, Guillermo,” Nandor said softly. His tone of voice caught his familiar off-guard. It was strangely timid and sympathetic, but most of all, there was no implication that he <em>didn’t</em> want it.</p><p>            The words came tumbling out of Guillermo’s mouth before he could stop himself. “Well, what if I wanted to?”</p><p>            Nandor’s pupils visibly blew out at that. He absently bit his bottom lip as he regarded the man. The air grew thick and close.</p><p>            “Well? Step on it,” Laszlo goaded, as casually as if he were speaking about chores. “We haven’t got all morning. And my cock is turning blue. I don’t care for it.”</p><p>            “Your cock was <em>already</em> blue,” Nandor retorted, tearing his gaze away from his trembling familiar.</p><p>            “The leprosy may have deformed my tallywhacker somewhat, but I can assure you it is <em>not</em> blue.”</p><p>            “Well let’s see it, then.” Nandor showed his fangs in challenge, his teeth clenched.</p><p>            Laszlo shrugged and undid his belt and laces, then let his trousers and frilly underclothes drop to the floor in one fluid motion. He stood, arms akimbo, gloating.</p><p>            “Alright,” Nandor mumbled petulantly. “It’s not as bad as I remember.”</p><p>            “And you?” Laszlo insisted. “I’ve seen your cock more times than I can count, but has Gizmo here seen Little Nandy?”</p><p>            Guillermo was going to faint. He just knew it. He was going to faint, with an erection, in a crypt with two unbelievably horny vampires. He would probably hit his head on the way down and warrant an ambulance visit, too, so that they too could relish in the madness of this current situation. A story for the ages. Some weird Persian guy dressed like a vampire; a pompous middle-aged Steampunk cosplayer, and a nerd with his head cracked open.</p><p>            He could have laughed.</p><p>            Instead he squeezed his eyes shut to will away the dizziness, and reached his hand out to gently cup Nandor’s crotch. Nandor immediately let out a hiss that sounded almost painful. Guillermo’s eyes shot open and he flung his hand back, looking up at his master with dismay. Behind him, he heard Laszlo groan in exasperation. He was no doubt beginning to regret his invitation to the familiar.</p><p>            Guillermo tried to find his voice, to apologise to Nandor, but the vampire grabbed his wrist and firmly pushed his hand back to where it was seconds ago. “Keep going,” he said. Their eyes locked and Guillermo saw the silent command in them. He gingerly brushed his palm over the bulge, almost flinging his hand away again when it twitched.</p><p>            “The fuck is wrong with you, Gizmo?” Laszlo complained.</p><p>            “Give him <em>time</em>,” Nandor scolded firmly. “He has never done this.” It was an assumption, but not a hard one to make. And it was correct.</p><p>            “We don’t have time,” Laszlo reminded him. “The sun will be up soon and I’d prefer to finish before we’re both engulfed in a ball of flames.”</p><p>            “H-he’s right, Master,” Guillermo whispered, but still he couldn’t bring himself to do anything more than massage Nandor’s straining bulge. Laszlo grumbled and walked away, and a moment later the sound of heavy, creaking wood filled the room. He dragged Nandor’s daybed around to face them and draped himself over it. “I’m going to keep going by myself,” he muttered. “Let me know when you ladies are ready.”</p><p>            Nandor was bucking his hips gently now, watching as Laszlo took himself in hand and began pumping. Laszlo himself looked almost bored.</p><p>            “Firmer, Guillermo.”</p><p>            “Y-yes, master,” Guillermo whimpered.</p><p>            “Here. Undo my trousers.” He gestured to the leather lace, and Guillermo reached for it. “No, Guillermo. Not with your hands. With your <em>teeth</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Never in his wildest, filthiest dreams would Guillermo have imagined this exact moment. That said, his filthiest dreams were rather tame. He’d removed his glasses and placed them safely beside him, before undoing Nandor’s laces exactly how he’d instructed. Now he was face-to-face with Little Nandy (which was anything <em>but</em> little), and he was thankful that his eyes no longer worked in high definition. Still, they weren’t quite bad enough to make everything a blur.</p><p>            Guillermo was afraid that Laszlo would crack some joke about a staring contest any second now, so he did what felt would be the next natural step, and wet his lips before taking the vampire in his mouth. Nandor hissed again, but this time Guillermo didn’t recoil. He felt his own cock twitch instead. He closed his eyes and gently ran his lips over the length of his master, tasting him for the first time; his skin was like silk, soapy and <em>human</em>, which for some reason surprised Guillermo. Nandor let out a soft encouraging moan that made his own groin ache deliciously, and in response he lightly ran his tongue along the vampire’s shaft, eliciting an even louder moan. He felt a weird swell of pride when his master grabbed the hair at the back of his head, and the feeling, mixed with his desire, coaxed a quiet groan out of him. It vibrated down Nandor’s cock and the vampire shuddered visibly.</p><p>            “<em>Fuck</em>,” he growled.</p><p>            “Now, this is getting good,” said Laszlo. His commentary stopped Guillermo dead in his tracks. He’d completely forgotten about the other vampire, so consumed he was by the scent and taste and subtle reactions from his master.</p><p>            “Keep going,” Nandor implored. His voice sounded almost sulky, and it made Guillermo’s heart leap in his chest. He tried to ignore Laszlo’s presence as he wrapped a hand around his master’s cock and began to suck with far more vigor than before. He couldn’t take the vampire’s whole length in his mouth – he was rather well endowed. So he began to squeeze and pump towards the base, using his saliva as lubricant. His fist occasionally brushed against the nest of dark hair covering Nandor’s groin, and the soft yet scratchy tickle seemed to keep him anchored to reality. It also helped that Nandor was clutching and pulling at his hair now and making all sorts of grunts and moans. The pain in his scalp sent shocks of pleasure down his body, culminating at his groin. Guillermo longed for release.</p><p>            Nandor seemed to sense it, or read his mind, because a moment later he purred, “Touch yourself.”</p><p>            Guillermo didn’t need to be asked twice. He found his erection with his free hand and kneaded it to alleviate the deep ache, letting a small moan escape, which in turn sent Nandor trembling again.</p><p>            “Not like that, boy,” Laszlo scolded. His head was cocked to the side for a better view. “Pants off. Go on.”</p><p>            Guillermo balked and moved away from Nandor’s cock, eliciting a soft growl of protest from the vampire. He made a point to look his master in the eye. Nandor was watching his familiar with unmistakable desire, panting through clenched teeth. He brushed the back of his hand gently across Guillermo’s cheek and jaw, and for some reason that one little act seemed to affect him more than anything else that had happened so far tonight. Encouraged, Guillermo undid his trousers and let himself free, not before averting his gaze bashfully. His mouth and hand found Nandor’s cock again and he went back to work, marvelling at how rock hard his master was, how he seemed made of marble beneath that sheath of silky skin.</p><p>            “Guillermo,” Nandor rumbled after a few moments. “Look at me.”</p><p>            Guillermo kept his mouth and hand moving to the bucking of his master’s hips, but he slid his eyes up the vampire’s body until they came to rest on face. He was working himself with his other hand, and the knowledge that there was no way he could last much longer filled him with a gaping disappointment.</p><p>            “Are you sure you’ve never done this before?” the vampire breathed. “No, don’t reply. Just keep going. You’re very good.”</p><p>            “Shit, Nandor, move it along,” Laszlo huffed from over on his seat. “I’m going to be finished before the boy has a chance to do me over.”</p><p>            Nandor’s half-lidded eyes snapped opened and he looked up at his vampiric companion with a snarl. “Guillermo is <em>my</em> familiar,” he hissed. “If you want a familiar to suck you off, you find your <em>own</em>.”</p><p>            Part of Guillermo thanked all the gods for that. He didn’t particularly like the idea of coming eye-to-eye, so to speak, with Laszlo’s slightly necrotic penis. The other part was suddenly rocketed towards climax by his master’s defensiveness.</p><p>“You’re a real prick sometimes,” Laszlo uttered. It was clear by his breathlessness that he was nearing the end too.</p><p>Guillermo worked his lips and tongue over as much of Nandor’s length as he could, spurred on by the vampire’s growls, the sharp scratching against his scalp and the complete adoration he felt for his master at this very moment.</p><p>“Ah, shit,” Laszlo gasped, and Guillermo didn’t have to glance over to know he had climaxed. It was apparent in his groaning voice, which was painted slightly with disappointment.</p><p>Guillermo was still riding the edge of the wave, desperately wanting to topple over and be carried gently to shore, but at the same time trying to hold back until his master had been satisfied. As if sensing his tension, Nandor mumbled, “I’m close.” But then he did something completely unexpected. He gently pulled Guillermo’s head away by the hair and tilted his chin to lock eyes with him. Guillermo felt himself flagging a little at the loss of contact.</p><p>“Guillermo,” Nandor murmured, and a wide crooked grin spread across his face, making his eyes sparkle. Guillermo had seen that grin plenty of times. It was the type of grin a child makes when they’re about to announce something crazy. “I want you to <em>fuck</em> me.”</p><p><em>Oh shit,</em> Guillermo thought in a flurry of panic. <em>Is he for real? Does he really…? </em>He felt a rush of panic as his impending orgasm began to fizzle.</p><p>“Are you for real?” Laszlo said in disgust, echoing Guillermo’s thoughts. “You wait until <em>now</em> to announce that?”</p><p>“Shut up, Laszlo.” That was Guillermo, much to the vampires’ surprise. He shut his mouth quickly, realising what he’d just blurted, but willed his expression to remain firm. Unfortunately, it was the only firm thing remaining on his body. His eyes were on Laszlo, who looked almost comical lazing back on the lounge, his flaccid cock still hanging out of the opening in his trousers. His mouth was slightly open in alarm.</p><p>            Nandor tilted his head back and roared with laughter, startling Guillermo, who gave a quiet squeak. “Go, Laszlo,” he demanded in good humour. “The sun will be up soon, and Guillermo needs to get me ready for bed. Stand up, Guillermo. You’re making me uncomfortable.”</p><p>            Guillermo almost groaned as the desire continued to rush from his body. Nandor was still hard; no doubt he could keep this up for a day if he wanted to. Guillermo, on the other hand, was but a mere human. He got to his feet and made to zip up his trousers, but Nandor stopped him with a gentle hand on his. Laszlo meanwhile was shuffling towards the door while fixing his clothes, grumbling the whole time. There wasn’t much he could do about the stains on them right now; he’d have to sneak around Nadja in order to change.</p><p>            As soon as the door shut, signalling the vampire’s departure, Guillermo turned to Nandor and gushed. “Master, I’m a virgin. I don’t know if I’m ready for this. I mean, I was hoping--” He stopped short when he saw Nandor’s smug smile drop. But there was something softer on his face.</p><p>            “I just wanted to tease Laszlo,” he admitted. “But that is very kind of you to offer yourself to me.”</p><p>            Guillermo didn’t bother correcting his master. He was too concerned about what was going to happen next. He didn’t have to wait for long, though. Nandor grabbed the hem of his familiar’s trousers and pulled them to his ankles. Guillermo gulped loudly, but his cock was beginning to twitch again. Nandor lightly, torturously ran a fingernail down the length of it and smiled when it sprang back to life. His eyes flickered to Guillermo’s as he wrapped a firm hand around the man’s cock. Guillermo let out an embarrassingly loud groan. There was no way he would last long.</p><p>            “Guillermo? If you tell <em>anybody</em> about what I am about to do, I will cut off your head.” Nandor sounded genuine, which made Guillermo gulp a second time. “I cannot have the other vampires knowing I acted subservient to a familiar; even just once.”</p><p>            And with that, he sunk to his knees, that brazen grin and those darkly desirous eyes enough to sweep Guillermo out to sea once more, to ride that exquisite wave again.</p>
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